Doing the Dishes

January 20, 2011

If I lack the self discipline

To do them everyday

The gnats move from the compost,

Which I also neglect,

To the sink

And then the fruit bowl.

Mowing the Lawn

January 20, 2011

It’s too hot.

It’s too damp.

It’s on a hill.

It’s just going to grow again.

If it gets longer,

The neighbors will go crazy.

I hate my neighbors

More than crabgrass.

Wedding Party

January 20, 2011

I gave you a present.

With a receipt.

I dressed up in this suit.

The chicken dance

Is just too much to ask.

Funerals Suck

January 20, 2011

Food isn’t good.

Who knows who might be next?

The priest is creepy.

Also, I’m sad.

War, War

January 20, 2011

What is is good for?




Think again.

Nope, not even that.

Naw, still not good.

Really, not good at all.

Think of a better plan.

Wasn’t that hard, was it?

More Wars

January 20, 2011

Don’t kill my baby brother’s little friends.

They’re not worth it.

They don’t make a good deal.


January 20, 2011

Summer is not a verb.

Or a polo shirt.

It is a season.

Full of sun and breeze and

Ok, a few sailboats.

But get your hands off my


A noun!

Duck Pond

January 20, 2011

Full of poop

And only two babies.

Darwin would say

Get out!


January 20, 2011




Get them right.

My Notebook

January 20, 2011

What did you say?


Be quiet so that I

Can write that down.