If I lack the self discipline

To do them everyday

The gnats move from the compost,

Which I also neglect,

To the sink

And then the fruit bowl.

It’s too hot.

It’s too damp.

It’s on a hill.

It’s just going to grow again.

If it gets longer,

The neighbors will go crazy.

I hate my neighbors

More than crabgrass.

I gave you a present.

With a receipt.

I dressed up in this suit.

The chicken dance

Is just too much to ask.

Food isn’t good.

Who knows who might be next?

The priest is creepy.

Also, I’m sad.

What is is good for?

Nothing.

Seriously?

Nothing.

Think again.

Nope, not even that.

Naw, still not good.

Really, not good at all.

Think of a better plan.

Wasn’t that hard, was it?

Don’t kill my baby brother’s little friends.

They’re not worth it.

They don’t make a good deal.

Summer is not a verb.

Or a polo shirt.

It is a season.

Full of sun and breeze and

Ok, a few sailboats.

But get your hands off my

Summer,

A noun!

Full of poop

And only two babies.

Darwin would say

Get out!

Penultimate.

Decimate.

Literally.

Get them right.

What did you say?

Shh.

Be quiet so that I

Can write that down.